Snow Makes People Stupid!

It is winter again and unfortunately it has snowed. It is the first time it has snowed in our area this season and like all snow seasons, the stupid people are out.

I had posted on my Facebook that "Snow Makes People Stupid." One of my friends responded by pointing out that maybe these people were always stupid, it's just the snow is helping them prove it. I agree with this.

At the hospital I work at there are certain sections of the parking structure and roadways that we routinely block off when it snows. There is an entrance/exit that we block because when it snows just a little, it gets slick and leads to a road that's on a hill. You are either going to get stuck going up the hill or slide going down. Four or five times yesterday people, let me reword that, EMPLOYEES were removing the barricades and driving down the blocked off area anyway. I actually yelled at some of them and made one of these morons back up in the structure when I caught him after he moved the barricade. Use some common sense people. You all can't be that stupid. Well maybe you can.

I just saw a news article on one of our local news channels about the city's response to the sudden snow storm. The city was pleased with their response, but the citizens were not. What do people expect? Yes, the snow came down unexpectedly, even my wife and I were not fully prepared, but we made it through smartly and I know that a lot of people did too. However, even more people did not, because they were unprepared.

It is winter you fucking idiots! In the winter there is this white stuff that falls from the sky, they call it snow and sometimes it is joined by really cold rain called freezing rain. Here is some common sense... You can safely get around in this inclement weather with chains on your car or studded tires in addition to driving slowly. There is no need to rush or act stupidly. This will usually lead to someone yelling at you and treating you like the moron you are or it may get you killed. And though I would love for more stupid people to be weeded out of the gene pool, I don't want to clean up the mess.

Here is a link to the story mentioned above.

http://www.katu.com/news/local/80383067.html

Exssesivly Baggy Clothing

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but even the picture above doesn't convey what I truly feel about this style of dress.

What is it with this look? What makes this fad so great that it has lasted as long as it has? I remember back in the late 80's when hanging pants just started becoming popular. I thought it was stupid looking back then and it's even more stupid now 20 years later.
I don't mean to stereotype this look, but it seems that a majority of the people that dress this way are black men or white men who think they are black. And then there is a small percentage that just dress that way because they are lazy or plain stupid.

Back in the early 90's it was explained to me by someone who dressed this ways on a daily basis is that poorer parents would dress their kids in bigger clothes so they could grow into them and then it slowly became a fad. Makes sense, but you would think that once you made enough money to buy your own clothes or when you stopped growing you would buy clothes that would fit. To be wearing pants that make you walk like a penguin or that you have to pick up the crotch when you run is just stupid to me no matter how much money you have.

As a bouncer I see this style of dress all the time and it drives me up the wall. I have such a hateful passion about it that I forbid my kids to wear baggy jeans. Now I wouldn't consider me or my family poor, but I have a cousin that is just a year or two older than my eldest son and sometimes he passes older clothes onto us. He is a bit bigger in the waist than my son so whenever I see my son wearing one of my cousins hand-me-downs, I make sure he is wearing a belt and it doesn't come down past his ass. And god forbid when I catch him wearing pants without a belt.

This look just does not say well bred to me at all. And money has nothing to do with. It looks thuggish and shows that you have no self worth, and why should I care about you when you don't care about yourself.

One thing I saw the other day that got me and drove me to write about this. I understand this is a really stupid fad and maybe in some circles the lower your pants are the higher you are on whatever scale you live by, but when you are permanently in a wheelchair and you are still wearing you pants low. Give me a fucking break. Really!

Don't Impersonate a Cop to a Cop, Duh!

The following is a press release from the Marion Co. Sheriff's Office.

SALEM, Ore. - Just after noon on Saturday Deputy Ethan Griffith was driving southbound on Lancaster Drive in Salem when he conducted a traffic stop on a driver who he observed operating an unsafe vehicle (large crack in windshield).

As he approached the driver, 29-year-old David Hickman, the first thing Hickman said was, "Shouldn't I be the one giving the tickets?" Deputy Griffith was surprised by this statement and asked Hickman what he meant.

Hickman told him he had just been hired by Gresham Police Department two days prior and had his choice between the State Police and the Gresham Police Department. He also said he was scheduled to attend the Police Academy soon.

Deputy Griffith congratulated him and then returned to his patrol car to complete the traffic citations. He then returned to Hickman's vehicle and explained the citations to him. Hickman said he understood the citations but asked if Deputy Griffith would just issue him a warning because he was a police officer.

Deputy Griffith told him no and gave Hickman the traffic citations.

Deputy Griffith then contacted the Gresham Police Department and determined Hickman was not a police officer for Gresham and was not scheduled to attend the Police Academy.

On Saturday at 2 p.m. Deputy Griffith made contact with Hickman at his Salem home and arrested him for Criminal Impersonation of a Police Officer and transported him to the Marion County Jail.

Every Good Christian Should Suffer

My grandmother just died at the end of June and the priest who performed her last rights, told my mother that Jesus suffered in his last days and so should any good Christian.

What a crock of shit.

I am not a Christian and really have never considered myself one, but I was raised in a Christian family. Almost all of my relatives, immediate and non-immediate, consider themselves Christian on one part of the spectrum or the other, even if some don't attend church.

I was raised in the Episcopal Church (Church of England) and from the 5th grade on, attended Catholic schools. I was confirmed in the Episcopal Church at age 11 (6th grade), my mother thought this was a good idea so I would be more apt on staying with her (parents were divorced). My father at the time did not attend a church, at least not to my knowledge, and my step-mother was an active member of the Quakers. After my Confirmation, I was forced into becoming an alter boy and as before, made to go to church on a weekly basis and all major Christian holidays. I hated every bit of it and to take my mother up on her promise of me having the choice to go to church or not after the age of 18 I have only been back 4 times in the last 19 years; 2 weddings, once as a successful attempt to get into a girls pants and most recently my grandmother's funeral.

I have studied the bible, only because I had to, which has actually helped ward off Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses who have mistakenly knocked on my door, but I do not recall ever reading or hearing that all good Christians must suffer. I know that Christians believe Hell is a place that exists for bad Christians to go and is also a place that if you are a Fundamentalist Christian, would included everyone who doesn't believe what you believe. However, good Christians aren't suppose to go there and what about suffering at the end of life.

The thing that is sad about the whole thing is that my mom bought into that thought process. Are you kidding me!?! But then again here is a woman who raised me as an Episcopalian and then converted to Catholicism at the height of their molestation scandals. I love my mother, but that was just plain stupid, and another topic for later ranting.

Believe what you want to believe, this is a free country and that is your right, but to believe that as a Christian, a good one at that, you must suffer at the end of your life is BULLSHIT! As a Christian you have suffered enough through prosecution from assholes like me, from Catholic priests who can't keep their hands off little boys, and televangelist addicted to high class hookers.

To quote Madea "Halleluar"

Michael Jackson is Dead

Michael Jackson died on June 25, 2009 of a massive heart attack. What did you expect, a heart can only pump for so long especially when it is trying to pump blood through plastic. Ok bad, joke. However, that was the first thing that went through my mind when I found out he was dead, was a bad joke.

Yes, Michael Jackson changed music and music videos forever, he inspired many to follow their dreams of dance, and even I had a flash back or two of 6th grade when Thriller was at its top, but to cry and wail and associate hearing of his death to JFK, by saying you will never forget where you were when you found out Wacko Jacko was dead. Give me a fucking break, stupid.

I have watched news reports about where they talk about the great legacy of Michael Jackson. They say he will be remembered for his contributions to music and dance, but they don't mention that he will also be remembered for being a complete freak. Because of this, I did a quick search on the Internet for some bad Michael Jackson jokes, and included them here with a few of my own.

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Q: What is black and comes in a little white can?
A: Michael Jackson.

Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. – you know in a few years they’ll probably change his name to: The Child Formerly Known as Michael Jackson’s Baby.

“Johnny Cochran died and had a funeral. You know who was at the funeral; both O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson. In fact, Michael cornered O.J. and said, ‘How do you get stains off a glove?’” ~Bill Maher

“What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Dick Cheney? One has pasty white skin, fake body parts and he’s creepy; the other’s Michael Jackson.”
~ Jay Leno

“The judge in the Michael Jackson child molestation trial selected 250 candidates for the jury pool, while Jackson himself has selected 20 for the kiddie pool.” ~ Amy Poehler

Did you hear that due to Michael Jackson being 90% plasic, they are going to melt him down and mold him into legos? Now children can play with him for a change.

When Priests, Rabbi and ministers around the world prayed to God for him to save the children, I don't think they meant for him to kill Michael Jackson.

For more Michael Jackson jokes, go to the following websites.

• http://www.funnyandjokes.com/


• http://www.tonsoflaughs.faketrix.com/funny-jokes-Michael-Jackson.htm

Ringback Tones

What exactly is a ringback tone you ask? When you call someone, it is a song played in place of the standard ringing you would hear while waiting for that person to pick up or getting the persons voicemail. In other words it is an annoying technological advancement in cell phone services marketed toward teenagers, young adults and stupid people who think it is cool.

Depending on what is considered popular music at the time and the service provider, almost any song is available to have as a ringback tone. If you are a normal mature adult who wants to take advantage of this service, you will choose music that is pleasant to everyone, nothing too hard, maybe something classical and tasteful. But if you are a member of a group that this service is market to, then watch out. Having the wrong music can actually not get you a job. I should know this, not because I have this service and didn't get a job because of it, but because I personally have not hired people because of their ringback tone. A bad ringback tone is unprofessional and the sign of an idiot.

I once ran a security company, and part of my many, many duties was to hire new employees. I would put ads on Craigslist and would sometimes have many well qualified people apply. When it came to calling people for interviews, no matter how qualified a person was, if I was forced to listen to music I didn't like, I would hang up and call someone else.

I know that I can sometimes be an asshole and that I expect a lot from my employees or those who would be potential employees, however, I know I am not the only person out there that hates ringback tones, and I know that I am not the only person who has not hired someone because of their ringback tone. That said, and I know I maybe taking this a little far, but ringback tones have the potential to help in the continued rise of our unemployment rate.

Now taking that a step further, if everyone who had a horrid ringback tone was not hired, they eventually would not be able to pay their phone bill and their service would be canceled. If this trend continued, stupid ringback tones would eventually go away. So there is hope. However, until then we are stuck listening to shitty songs like "Do the Stanky Leg" when waiting for a stupid person to pick up.

Stupid Girls

I posted this on a bouncer forum, but I had to reprint it here since this is where I therapeutically vent about stupid people.

Along with hospital security, I also work in bar security (bouncer) as well. This isn't really an exciting story where I took on 5 people all by myself and survived, its just a short story about how stupid the future leaders (how cliché) of this country can be.

I was working the door the other night and noticed a group of girls crossing the street from the parking lot over to the club. There were probably 5 or 6 of them. When the girls reached the club side of the street they stopped at the sidewalk. And don't assume they actually stepped onto the sidewalk, they stopped when they got to it. Slowly but surely, one or two of them stepped on to the sidewalk and out of the street but the bulk of them stayed in the street. Now mind you this is normally a busy street and they were standing in it.

It took everything I had not to say anything right off the bat. I wanted to see how long it would take for them to migrate onto the sidewalk, but after one of them almost got hit by a passing car and they still didn't move, I had to speak up. I told the girls "For your own safety you should probably be on the sidewalk" since they obviously didn't get it themselves. Their reaction, they looked at me like I was an idiot.

Nuf said.

A Doctor, Really?

My 40 hour a week profession is working security in one of the major hospitals in Portland. Last winter I worked double shifts at the hospital for a couple days in a row while spending the night at the hospital so our department was properly staffed because some people could not come to work.

I was working a day shift in dispatch when I got a call from a doctor who lived in the furthest reaches of Tigard. The hospital was offering free rides to employees by picking them up at home and taking them to work and then taking them back home at the end of their shift. However, those employees had to be within 10 miles of the hospital. This doctor was way outside the 10 mile limit and I informed the doctor of this. I told the doctor if she took the bus, we could pick her up at a bus stop or transit center closer to the hospital. The doctor told me that she was at least a mile away from the nearest bus stop and didn't know when the bus ran. After several minutes on the phone giving the doctor information on how to find out bus times and going over the different options, the doctor all of a sudden got an attitude and said in a teenagerish winy voice "But how am I going to get to work?"

Really!?! You are a fucking doctor. You went to school for 12+ years and you can't figure out how to get to work on a snowy day. Give me a fucking break!!!!

I so wanted to say that to her and so much more, but I was in hospital mode with means I smile and try to be polite. I explained to her that those were her available options, and that if she couldn't make it in due to the weather, then she should probably call her boss and let them know. She hung up on me in frustration.

You would think that someone who decided to go into medicine and become a doctor would have enough intelligence to figure out how to get to work when it snows. Especially when you are living in the Northwest where it snows, rains and is sunny enough to get a tan all in the same day. But that takes common sense, and as we all know lack of common sense is an IQ killer.

Sometimes Children Deserve to be Spanked

For some reason my wife has me watching E! News and for some reason I didn't get up and walk out of the room...

So Ryan Seacrest and some other TV personality chick are talking about these "Shocking" photos of Kate from “John and Kate + 8” spanking her daughter and how maybe these pictures are hurting the ratings to their TLC show.

Guess what you unmarried, non-child having morons, it's called reality TV. In reality kids who disrespect their parents or continue doing things that a parent tells them to stop doing get spanked. It's "Shocking" because people are afraid to discipline their children now a days. It’s because of nosy people who have no children who turn them into the police or take pictures to put their actions on TV or in print. Besides John and Kate's show is dropping ratings because John is a pussy and Kate is a bitch and the media eats that shit up.

Not that I would want to be on Kate's side, but I do support her comment stating that the way she disciplines her children is her business. You go girl. Any parent that thinks spanking a child is abuse, you are the stupid moron. It is not abuse. Abuse is hitting with a closed fist, drawing blood, or breaking bones. A spanking is a painfully uncomfortable and temporary physical representation of the word NO. Spankings simply leave a welt that go away in a few minutes. Young skin is pliable that way.

Being a parent does not mean you are your kids best friend. That's called Friendship, not Parenthood. You bring a child into this world; you need to teach them to be responsible, respectful, and to be disciplined. If this requires a spanking every now and then, so be it. A good spanking is healthy for a child, and just about as traumatic as watching a recent Steven Segal movie. Well, maybe a little less traumatic.

I got spanked when I was growing up and I deserved it. Do I feel that I need hours of physiological help because of it. No. I turned out just fine. And so did quite a few of the people I grew up and went to school with. So did everyone else that came before us. But for some reason today’s children are irresponsible, disrespectful and have no discipline. Could it be because their butts weren't beaten with a switch, wooden spoon or bare hand. Maybe.

I see too many kids coming into the emergency department because their stupid ass parents think they have mental issues. Only about 5% of these kids really have issues, the other kids lack discipline and respect. If these kids just got a spanking or two so they would know that the parents were the boss and what their limits were, they wouldn't be in the ED.

My parents got spanked, I got spanked, I spanked my kids and will do so no matter what age they are and they know it; and I hope my grandkids get spanked. Do you know why? Sometimes children deserve to be spanked.

All Shapes and Sizes

To begin, I have to point out what categorizes a stupid person. They come in all shapes and sizes, from all different races, and from every class and caste level. It doesn't matter where you were born or where you grew up you can still be stupid.

Being stupid does not mean you have a low IQ or have not been to school, I have met people with PhD's that are dumber than a three year old. It is all based on common sense and how you use that sense. Now a days I notice that people don't think before they speak, or act for that matter. They have problems paying attention even when there are no other distractions, which means they don't listen or have ADD; which is something I don't believe in. But that is something we can talk about later.

Why this is a problem now and not before, I don't know. Or maybe that it has always been a problem and is just now (with in the last 10 or so years) becoming evident. Or it could be that years and years ago there were only a few stupid people and some how they were able to reproduce and this is why we have such a problem today. Not sure what the factors are, but the fact is that there are a lot of stupid fucking people out there and I have to deal with them everyday.